The potato that went to school: A tale of growth and adulthood

It was a simple Tuesday, Peely the potato had his first day of school. He was nervous, his skin was beginning to sprout. The other spuds in his class were a lot cleaner than him; no dirt around the grooves or ugly sprouts. Peely was a bit gross. Peely, at the sight of his clean spuddy friends, fell into a nervous breakdown. In his first lesson (spud mechanics 101), Peely temporarily lost use of his left arm (also made of spud). "Oh shit!", he cried. In a fit of frustration and pubescent fury he took his peeler and deconstructed his skin. It lay in a co ld and damp mess. "WHY DO SPUDS GO THROUGH PUBERTY" pondered Peely the Potato. It was a hard period in any Spuds life. Then, the carror police arrived. They had been called to do a wellness check on this little fella, and my my wasn't he doing horrifically. They decided to bring him in for potato suicide watch. Unfortunately, the preventative potato measures were not sufficient. Peely threw his spuddy mass into a pot of boiling water, becoming a lovely addition to a summer salad. His mother, Patricia the potato, was naturally distraught. "Why, why, why!", she cried, "my stupid bastard son". It was a shame that such a hopeful spud had turned into a delicious delacey ...delicacy i meant, excuse me. Patricia resigned herself to her study. She was depressed. But we must not remain in our sadness as this is a tale of growth and adulthood. The human child that ate Peely grew to be fit and healthy with a great appreciation for the art of boiled potato. The end.

Writers

astfly

Cat

Publish Date

6/6/2024

The potato that went to school: A tale of growth and adulthood

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